The Reminders
by WOWZAcoolBEANS
Summary: Five years have passed without seeing Seishirou’s face. Many things had changed, but Subaru’s feelings remained the same; when he meets with the one that he loved and hated the most he feels like a broken man. Subaru/Seishirou.


**Title:** Black Coffee

**Synopsis:** Five years have passed without seeing Seishirou's face. Many things had changed, but Subaru's feelings remained the same; when he meets with the one that he loved and hated the most he feels like a broken man.

**Rating: **T

**A/N**: The band Tegan and Sara's music really reminds me of Subaru for some reason. I dunno. But this is my 50th fanfic on this site! How exciting! Yay! Oh, I got really dizzy while writing this (I'm not quite sure why…) so if the grammar is off, it's probably because I was just a wee bit distracted by that… I just realized that I keep writing stories where Subaru is in the rain… Weird…

**Disclaimer:** I don't own X, because if I did, the manga wouldn't be on hiatus.

--

"It's love that leaves and breaks the seal of always thinking you would be real, happy and healthy, strong and calm. Where does the good go? Where does the good go? Where do you go when you're in love and the world knows? How do you live so happily while I am sad and broken down?"

-'Where Does The Good Go' by Tegan and Sara

--

Everywhere there were signs of the Sakurazukamori. It seemed like the man followed Subaru wherever he went. Everything from a sakura flower gently placed behind a girl's ear by her boyfriend to a piece of road kill that was found on the busy Tokyo streets was a reminder of the betrayal that Subaru had felt because of that man and what he had done to him.

Tapping the cigarette that he was currently smoking gently into an ashtray his gaze shifted from a happy couple walking outside of the small café in Tokyo that he was sitting at and over to the cup of now cold coffee sitting in front of him. He took one last drag on the cigarette before putting it out in the ashtray. With nothing coherent running through his mind he began to stir the spoon that had been sitting in his coffee cup, even though it did not need the mixing.

Back in the day he put milk in his coffee along with a heavy dose of sugar, now, he took it black.

There was a movement next to his table; Subaru turned to see him face-to-face with someone quite familiar. "Is this seat taken?" With as much nonchalance as he had, he nodded and the person sat down across from him. Inside his chest his heart raced; he was unable to look into that man's eyes. "We're going to have some nice weather today, don't you think?" Taking a glance out the window, Subaru noticed that it had started to drizzle.

"It looks like it's going to start raining hard soon." The couple that he had seen was no out of sight. "The traffic will probably get bad, there will be some sort of an accident." Drops fell down the window. "There always are." On the sidewalks people ran with umbrellas over their heads, trying desperately to get inside before the rain began.

The man across from him smiled. In his cup was the same sort of coffee that Subaru was drinking…. Black; there was nothing hidden within. "That's exactly what I mean. Rain brings along all sorts of terrible accidents and horrors. Even children have the predisposition to hate and fear it." Smiling smugly, the man took a delicate sip from his mug as if there was nothing wrong in the world.

Not wanting to argue, but not wanting to let this man have the last word, Subaru kept his eyes on the window. "But rain does make the crops grow; without that food people would starve. And without rain we'd have no water and we'd all be dead anyway." As quick as it had began, the rain grew harder and harder.

The man across the table laughed. "Soon enough none of that will matter; humans are arrogant creatures and soon what they have reaped they will sow." Though his mind begged Subaru to leave that place and to forget this conversation, he found his legs unable to move. "But I guess that probably isn't something that you're thinking of right now. How is your work going, Subaru-kun? Are you still performing exorcisms, or have you finally decided to go forth with your dreams?"

At the mention of his own name something inside Subaru froze. There was so much power in a name; the force of it on that man's lips was enough to make Subaru want to vomit. Old insecurities that he knew that he had, but had tried to bury deep within his soul poured out all at once. Dreams? He had forgotten. There had been a time when he had dreams. Those days were long since past.

"I have new dreams and goals now. Going to college to become a zookeeper was a childish whim and something that I had given up long ago." The telltale sound of a cigarette leaving a pack came from the other side of the table. "I see that your veterinary shop has closed. Have you found a new way to find sacrifices?"

The man chuckled. "No, I've just opened a new one up elsewhere. I wouldn't want to be somewhere so predictable for so long. Someone may report the fact that most of the pets that I could save quite easily keep end up dying." Outside the rain got worse; there were less and less people walking on the streets. Inside his mind, Subaru was finding it difficult to remain calm any longer. "I seem to have misplaced my lighter…" There was a pause. "But you don't smoke, so I guess-"

"One second." With ease Subaru dug into his pocket and pulled out a sky blue lighter, looking the man straight in the eye for the first time, he held it out flame ablaze. "Here."

For just a moment the man had a look of surprise on his face. For that same moment, he almost seemed to be like the Seishirou that Subaru had once known. The act that he had put on for so long must have left at least some sort of impression on him. But he had to remember that this was not truly Seishirou; this was a man who wore the same face but had done nothing but lie and kill. "How surprising," he put the cigarette into his mouth and stuck it into the lighter, his hand cupped around the other side of the flame. After a moment he pulled away, the end of his cigarette with a small stream of white smoke spewing from it. "I didn't think that you would have picked up that nasty little habit."

Shrugging, Subaru pulled out a cigarette of his own out of the breast pocket of his jacket. "Things have changed. It's been five years."

Five long years since he had seen that man's face. Deep within his heart he had harbored secret desires of wishing to see him again. In his soul he had wished that it had been a cruel joke and that the man was still as kind as he had once been and his sister was still alive and smiling and the world was just and fair to those within it.

The man took another sip of his coffee. "You seem to have held up surprisingly well for all that time. Have you been living alone?" There was a smile on his face and Subaru felt increasingly like breaking everything in sight. If the man was going to kill him, he should have just done so already; it was the waiting that was killing him on the inside, though, the man probably knew that fact already and was waiting just to torture him.

"I have." The lighter came back into his hand and he lit his own cigarette. The smoke from his mixed with the smoke from that man's and together it danced off into oblivion.

Smoking was always the thing that had seemed so out of character for him to do. Such a kind, weird sort of person didn't seem like the type to do something that was so sure to kill him. Cancer was not a concern of the Sakurazukamori, however. Nothing so simple and so common as cancer could kill someone with such a tainted soul.

"And how is your grandmother doing?" It was almost like they were two normal people who had made plans to meet in this coffee shop to catch up and smoke together. From the outside there was probably not a single person who would have guessed that at one side of the table was an assassin and on the other was a boy whose sister had been brutally murdered by him. For that one precious year they had been two normal people sharing normal lives together. Now…

"She's doing as well as she can," Pausing, Subaru looked outside the window again. There was lightning in the distance; he should have probably already started for home. It would not be easy to get back there with the rain getting as bad as it was. "She used up too much of her power, however, and is now in a wheelchair."

"Trying to protect you, I assume?"

"You're correct."

"She cared a great deal for you."

"She still does."

"Was it-"

"Yes."

"Oh." Almost at the same time the cigarettes went in and out of the men's mouths. "I thought that she would have died from that, in all honesty. Being so old I thought that she wouldn't be able to take it. There was a great difference between your power and hers; she was always a weak leader comparatively."

There was silence between them; he knew that he had won this battle without even using his magic. For Subaru, there was nothing left to say. If he were to stay there without feeling death or pain, the despair would be too much to take.

This man had shaken his world. Because of his actions Subaru would never be truly happy. There was nothing left for him besides this man and the pain that he hoped to feel from him one day. But being in his vicinity was… toxic. If he were to endure anymore than he would explode.

"The rain is getting hard; if I don't leave now then I will have difficulties returning." As he stood up Subaru put a long leather coat on. The man's eyes caught with Subaru's for a moment, but the latter looked down as the man laughed.

Not wanting to hear that man's voice utter a single syllable more, Subaru walked out of the café as quickly as he could, not looking behind him and just trying to focus on continuing to breathe until he was out of the door.

"Wait!" Rain beating down on him, Subaru paused for a moment. Taking a deep breath he looked back. If that man had not sounded so very much like the Seishirou that he had once known he would not have, but that word, that one word, brought back a thousand different memories that he had tried so hard to forget. Dry, that man stood smirking under the awning of the café. "Subaru-kun, we'll meet again because, you know, you are my precious prey. You may not wear those gloves any longer, but I will own you forever."

As quickly as that man had come back into Subaru's life, he left.

And the one that was left there standing in the rain feeling broken and alone was not that man, but Subaru. "You own me Seishirou-san. And you will until the day you take my life." Tears mixing with the rain falling from the sky, he stood there, defeated.

Around him were things that reminded him of the Sakurazukamori. The trash bags sitting in dumpsters reminded Subaru of how he felt when he had found that he was nothing more than a puppet to be played with momentarily and then thrown away. Even the closed up ice cream shop across the street reminded him of happier times with his sister and the person who he had loved.

And the rain reminded him of all of the tears that he, the broken person, had shed because the one who he cared about most could care less about him.

--

_Fin_


End file.
